Six Impossible Things

“True Stories from Famous People” on Nickelodeon...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:41:25 -0600

“True Stories from Famous People” on Nickelodeon (1987)

ohmygodwilwheatonilovedyousomuch.

Thank the gods I didn’t have cable back then. I would have watched Nickelodeon non-stop just to catch a glimpse of my dream boyfriend.

via lonelysandwich

dialogues:oldhollywood: William Powell in The Thin Man (1934,...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:53:24 -0600

dialogues:oldhollywood:

William Powell in The Thin Man (1934, dir. Woody Van Dyke) (via brightlightsfilm.com)

“The murderer is right in this room. Sitting at this table. You may serve the fish.”

Butter? Mints?? Hosts???

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:32:08 -0600

Butter? Mints?? Hosts???

First United Church of Omar

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 18:04:25 -0600

First United Church of Omar

Does it take requests?

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:54:12 -0600

Does it take requests?

Large Hadron Collider back online

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:06:49 -0600

(via whatthefuckdoineedtoknow)

(via carouselinparis)

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:05:26 -0600

(via carouselinparis)

Daul Kim

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:27:56 -0600

Daul Kim

nevver: Death of a model.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:24:32 -0600

nevver:

Death of a model.

THINK PINK!

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 13:14:29 -0600

THINK PINK!

about-today: Eels, “Little Bird” The thing about...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:25:04 -0600

about-today:

Eels, “Little Bird”

The thing about Eels is that every time - and I mean EVERY time - I hear his voice in one of these slow, sad songs it makes me cry. I think it’s just the blunt honesty of things and the raspy, lived-in quality his voice has, and maybe the knowledge that he’s lost people in devastating ways and that we’ve all lost people in devastating ways. Maybe that sadness that we all have inside is lured out a little when it hears him - not in a bad, maudlin way, but in a cleansing, reverential way - and it peeps out of its cave to remind us that things can be sad and that’s okay.

Can we talk about how

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:43:48 -0600

thewordunheard:

it was mere weeks ago that everyone was outraged over the Roman Polanski petition, talking big about how they weren’t going to support any of the signer’s movies, and yet here we are and everybody’s jocking for tickets to Wes Anderson’s The Fantastic Mr. Fox?

Did I miss something, or did everyone just forget?

Complaint #535

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:10:37 -0600

WORD! Do not buy TJ’s produce unless you plan to eat your fruits and vegetables between 3:47am and 4:03am. Before they’re too hard and by 4:04am they’re moldy.

whitewhine:

Where is Trader Joe’s getting their produce from? I swear, their avocados go from under-ripe to over-ripe overnight.

-Whine by Brant

via marklisanti

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:04:55 -0600

via marklisanti

Beetle drink? (via carouselinparis)

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:27:00 -0600

Beetle drink?

(via carouselinparis)

Truth: I once won a heated game of charades by acting out this...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:39:00 -0600

Truth: I once won a heated game of charades by acting out this man’s name. (It’s Boutros Boutros-Ghali.)

Drew Bell can confirm this.

“Remote Control” starring Ken Ober. Farewell,...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:30:07 -0600

“Remote Control” starring Ken Ober.

Farewell, favorite game show host. You never failed to make me laugh.

12

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:21:22 -0600

howmanyareinspace:

6 on the ISS and 6 on Space Shuttle Atlantis STS-129

http://www.entertonement.com/clips/qqnzgrzpdv—David-sings-m...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 11:59:00 -0600

http://www.entertonement.com/clips/qqnzgrzpdv—David-sings-money-don’t-make-my-world-go-roundRicky-Gervais-The-Office-UK-David-Brent-The-Office-UK-Season-1-

slaughterhouse90210:

“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Fake Dinner Party Conversations

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:04:24 -0600

Oh, Tess Lynch, you’re so funny sometimes.

tesslynch:

David Lynch: To me, as I’ve said, a meatloaf is like a submarine.

Tess: …right…

David Lynch: Whereas you think of a boat as something that floats, it can just as easily be something that does the opposite.

Tess: …and so, with meatloaf…?

David Lynch: Exactly. Meat is one thing. A loaf is another thing. But they can both be the same thing, if you try.

Tess: Do you like it? It looks like you haven’t tried it yet. It’s good meatloaf!

[silence]

Tess: Okay…so, Willem? Are you catching this? The submarine analogy?

Willem Dafoe: Yes, and you know, I get that. Completely. A few months ago I got together with my theater troupe, and do you know what we did?

David Lynch: Ahhh!

Willem Dafoe: What is it?

David Lynch: I’m sorry. Something about you.

Willem Dafoe: Something about me what? What did I do?

David Lynch: I’m not sure.

[From the other room, a midget wearing a tuxedo enters. The hallway he walks down seems very long, suddenly. From a hidden speaker somewhere, a haunting melody plays. The midget is carrying a sterling dish with candies inside.]

Midget: [holds dish up to David Lynch, who takes a candy]

David Lynch: [to midget] Thank you, Miguel. [to Willem Dafoe] I had a spell. I’m sorry. Go on.

[Midget exits]

Willem Dafoe: Anyway, like I was saying, our troupe was putting together an experimental riff on That Worthless Fellow Platonov. Incredible. It inspires me daily, the process. At one point, I beat a guinea pig to death onstage. The matinee crowd? We have to have a stretcher around to carry them away if they faint, or die.

Tess: Surely that isn’t in the original? The Chekov version?

Willem Dafoe: Of course not. The original is as dry as a piece of Swedish flatbread dipped in sawdust, cured in chalk, and set out to bake in the Arizona sunshine at midday in August.

David Lynch: Ahhh! Miguel!

Tess: David, is something wrong?

David Lynch: [points at Willem Dafoe] His face! It’s terrifying. And I also love it. But mostly, it’s terrifying.

Tess: David, did you recently see Antichrist?

David Lynch: [stares at plate of meatloaf]

Tess: Oh. I see. I asked you not to watch that before dinner, didn’t I? David, didn’t I?

David Lynch: …Miguel?

Tess: David. David. Didn’t I say that would be a bad idea? Because of…the scene? And…the meatloaf?

Willem Dafoe: [reconsiders his meatloaf] Hey, David, can I get one of those candies?

Tess: Well, great. Thanks, David. Thank you. You know, I warned you. And now you’ve ruined dinner for yourself —

David Lynch: Ruining dinner is like submerging yourself in the bathtub —

Tess: — and for Willem —

David Lynch: I’m sorry, but really, you have to understand, Antichrist — it seemed it would be right up my alley, and —

Tess: But the mutilation scene! And the meatloaf! I mean, come on!

Willem Dafoe: [in the direction of the kitchen] Hey, buddy? What, uh, hey, Miguel?

[The midget re-enters with the candy dish]

David Lynch: You can come out, Kyle.

[The midget’s face blurs. Willem Dafoe lets out a cry. There is a puff of smoke, and six seconds of a Roy Oribson song. When the smoke clears, the midget has been replaced by Kyle Maclachlan]

Kyle Maclachlan: I thought I’d come by for dessert. I heard the pie here is phenomenal. I’m going to tell you a secret —

David Lynch: — every day, give yourself a present. Two cups of hot, good, black coffee. [he and Kyle laugh]

Tess: [to Willem] Is that from Twin Peaks?

Willem Dafoe: Oh, in my theater troupe, we did this great riff on Twin Peaks where —

Tess: Ooh, actually, you know, it’s getting late.

Willem Dafoe: …I understand. [he exits]

Tess: Actually, can you guys go now? Because when it’s just the two of you, I worry things are going to go all Fire Walk With Me.

[David Lynch and Kyle Maclachlan exit to eery music, which plays until their cars dematerialize at the stop sign down the road]