A Letter from NetFlix
I just got this weird letter from NetFlix:
Dear Aziz,We just want to say - THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH! You are a lazy, lazy, lazy motherfucker and lazy fucks like you are what make us the real dough! Hear me out.
We just did some math. Since joining in September of ‘05, you’ve spent $665.29 in membership fees. And to date, you’ve watched and received…. TEN MOVIES!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! That’s $66.53/MOVIE!!! HAHAHAHAH!
We were a little worried when you first joined. You got 9 movies those first two months and watched them and returned them right away. “Twin Peaks,” “The Staircase,” Chinatown - you were ripping through them. It seemed like you were a diligent Netflix-er that would hurt our profits.
But THEN - you just stopped! You’ve only rented ONE FUCKING MOVIE SINCE THEN!!!
And instead of going online and cancelling your membership, you just kept paying us about $20 a month to keep a copy of A Streetcar Named Desire, Casablanca, and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? at your house FOR ALMOST THREE YEARS!
We can’t thank you enough for this Aziz and we hope you continue to pay us $20 a month for DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Best wishes,
The Netflix Team
I got the same letter, except it thanked me for keeping Gone With The Wind, Out of Africa, and Patton. Weird.
I’m nowhere near this close, but Downfall is just sitting there, mocking me, inside its little red envelope. And I’m surprised Netflix would curse, but, honestly, it just makes me like them a little bit more.
Who am I kidding? You and I have front row and back stage passes for Satanfest.
— Flynn Dekker, former client
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Oooh. That’s fun.
The Brighton Port Authority, Toe Jam (feat. Dizzee Rascal)
I think I knew in the back of my head that David Bryne and Norman Cook (Fatboy Slim) were working together on a project. ‘Cause when I found this today, I wasn’t surprised at all that it existed, but more surprised at how good it is. It’s an awesome little end of the summer joint. This threatens to push me into big David Byrne kick. Which has happened before.
Perfect for the bacon lover in your life. Or to make the vegetarian in your life just a little queasy.
Just One Frickin Day
Donate just one frickin’ day of your salary to help build a solar powered hospital in Burundi, the world’s poorest country in the world. As of right now there are only 156 doctors working to tend to 8 million people. Not ready to donate just one frickin’ day? How ‘bout buying a tee designed by Phillip Lim or Giambattista Valli? (I’m personally preferring the House of Diehl shirt.)
Followed Tumblrite Courtney Went to Tanzania & Brought Back Some Lovely Videos
I do hope she had a wonderful time. Although, from the looks of it, I think she definitely did.
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