February 2011
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UPDATE: SHINY FAUNA
DATELINE: January 31, 2011, 7:30pm
Our correspondent by the window reports that it is dark and eerily quiet. The ground is wet and mostly frozen, but not so treacherous that I couldn’t walk to the back door in high heel boots. The fauna is covered in a thin sheet of ice that glistens in the street lamps, but there is nothing falling from the sky - not our theatre major hopes, not our...
Wanna know how Pandora gets me to buy Pandora One?
It starts running commercials for some terrifying Lifetime show about babies being born.
Congratulations! $36 to you, you evil bastards.
1 tag
WEATHER WATCH
DATELINE: 1.31.11, 5:12pm
JENSCHUETZ, Midwest Defector, it is currently drizzling and cars are still driving at a normal rate of speed down Washington Ave.
Lee has left for the day because “who passes up a good excuse to leave early” and he “has to get cat litter”.
(Note: all defectors out there who want to know what’s happening, please email or text me and...
January 2011
1 tag
UPDATE
DATELINE: January 31, 2011, 3:30pm
It was raining but now it’s not.
We’ll keep the windowless abreast of all the weather-related details as they emerge.
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Reporting Live from the Snowpocalypse
Live from the city streets of St. Louis, I’m updating you on the impending crisis brought by our nemesis Mother Nature.
Current weather status: dreary. There is scant precipitation in the 63108 ZIP zone. It seems to be getting darker in the last few minutes. There are reports that Edwardsville is icy, but no one cares about 618ers.
Anticipated weather status: colder. That might...
2 tags
In Danger of Becoming a Cliché
I’ve spent the better part of the day watching British television.
WatchCaro Emerald | That Man (by PLANET X FX)
High five, Saul Bass.
“My Mistakes Were Made For You” | The Last Shadow...
Dear Television,
I am now watching your MTV offering entitled “Silent Library” and I have concluded that you are why we as a country are falling apart. Collegiate bros drinking fizzy hot dog water while being quiet? We are doomed. Oh wait. In this segment Octomom shoots babies at a bro. Yep. You’ve ruined us. Farewell global supremacy.
This morning's amusing quotes
“Muffins! I just took ‘em!” - Laura
“It looks like something you’d drink before a procedure.” - Erin
To try and explain, I’m at the Four Seasons in Vegas for work. The first one is from my client who, as I do, hates to see banquet food go to waste. The second is from our PPT girl chatting with Client Kathy about my Naked Green Machine juice.
Yeah....
After A.C. Slater Photo Is Smashed, Bar Manager... →
“The guy didn’t even touch the John Stamos photo.”
What a world.
An Example of a Song I Can't Listen to Without...
“King of Pain”
Guess who's now following little ol' me? →
TOM ASHBROOK (and friends)!
Orphalin Annie: A Lone Mother →
I am not a mother and I have an innate, desperate fear of pregnancy and child birth (I just threw up in my mouth typing the “p” word), but I can completely see how this is true. People assume so much after so many life-changing moments, but we should be just as ridiculous and friendsy as we were before they happened. Just know you can always call your cousins, Annie, because Eric and...
1 tag
Karishma Ka Karishma →
Karishma ka karishma is a remake of the Hollywood series Small Wonder. The story revolves around a scientist, Vikram, who designs a very life-like robot. His goal is to find out if the robot (named Karishma) will become more human-like as time goes on. His wife, Sheetal, who is easily influenced by her neighbour Shraddha, suspects Vikram to be having an extramaritial affair due to his late work...
I've never really cared for The Cure.
There. I’ve said it.