April 2010
March 2010
I loved watching the video Sarah references. Why? Because there’s a baby elephant, of course! And David Sheldrick!
Photographs of my heroine, Michaela Denis, taken by her husband Armand and scanned from her memoir by yours truly. If, like me, you carry a procrastination book along with your real work, Leopard in my Lap and Ride a Rhino are exhilirating diversions.
(For a shorter distraction, I recommend this video of Michaela catching a baby elephant.)
But if there’s one thing I can tell you about this date, I don’t think I can do it any better than Tom Junod, writer for Men’s Publication Esquire, on “The Lost Art of Standing Up When a Lady Approaches”
He was a lordly fat man. Well, he was as fat as a lord, and often as drunk as one, so he was the closest thing to a lordly fat man I’ve ever known. As befitting his status, he was generous and cruel in equal measure, without regard to democratic impulse. He was particularly generous to the celebrities he courted, and one night I had the opportunity to eat dinner with him and a celebrity couple.
The celebrity was old, but his wife—ah, his wife was young enough to believe that her own celebrity depended on how much ass she could display on a given evening. She was six feet tall, platinum at the crown, wore a rubber dress that impinged on the results of her bikini wax, and thought it her duty to indulge our voyeurism by getting up to go tinkle. All dinner long, she would stand up, snap the hem of her dress over her spectacularly deployed rump, and stomp off to the ladies’ room. And all dinner long, the lordly fat man stood up—all the way up, no half measure—to receive her when she returned, bidding us to join him in his gallantry. At first, it was charming, then amusing, then, as milady’s bladder found no rest, merely tiring. Finally, we sought instruction: “Does a man have to stand up every time a woman comes to the table?” we asked our host. “Well, it all depends on the woman,” the lordly fat man answered authoritatively. “With a woman like that—yes, every time.”
